Becoming the soul of company might seem like an impossible mission at first. We might think that we need some natural charisma or talent to be liked by the people around us. But actually, being likable is something that we can easily train for by putting some effort, imagination, and improvisation into the process.
Mobonews prepared a list of foolproof, yet effective tips that can help you to win people over, even if you are an introvert to the core. Make sure you save them!
1. Make them like you from the very beginning.
Put effort into establishing a warm and positive connection to let people form a special impression of you. The win-win option here is always going to be a sincere smile. However, just one emotion is not enough. A personalized touch like a handshake, a quick tap on the shoulder, or even a short hug, plays a significant role.
The most important thing here is to try to feel the energy of the other person and follow their body language with your own gestures.
2. Engage them in talking about themselves.
Most people love talking about themselves, so you can make use of this. Ask them about their hobbies, the places they’ve been or might want to visit, plans for the weekend, and much more. Don’t get too private, as this can make a person feel uncomfortable and they might even try to push you away.
Also, it’s good to avoid closed questions where the answer is just a simple “yes” or “no.” Instead, make use of the question, “Why?” or “How?” — it gives the other person an awesome opportunity to talk more about a chosen topic.
3. Put an emphasis on the similar traits you both share.
We tend to be attracted to people who are somewhat similar to us, and this has a name: the “similarity-attraction effect.” Try to find something that might be similar in you and the person you’re talking to. It can be your taste in music, a certain food you both like to eat, or a sport you both enjoy watching. After you’ve found it out, you need to make use of it by discussing it with this person or inviting them to visit the place where you can both enjoy this activity. These simple things might not seem like they are very important, but they do a great job of making people feel personally connected to you, and help them enjoy being around you.
4. Compliment the things that people struggle with the most.
Some compliments can awaken a completely different range of feelings in us. Just complimenting someone’s smile or eye color is not going to make much difference for a person, they will probably see it as a very neutral thing. Naturally, they didn’t earn these things, they are just a part of who they are. The key here is to notice the thing that a person struggled with the most and praise them for it.
For example, let’s say that you know that this person worked day and night on a project, and it turned out to be a huge success. Admiring their hard work and effort will awaken a deep feeling of satisfaction, making them genuinely happy and even proud of themselves.
5. Don’t forget to always be mindful of your body language.
Even if we don’t notice it, crossed arms and legs tell others that we can’t be trusted and that we’re hiding something. But no matter how hard it might be for you, try to open your stance. The best thing you can do is to keep your spine and legs straight and your hands open with your palms turned toward other people. Putting a relaxed and inviting look on your face will make other people feel more comfortable being around you, and naturally, like you more.
6. Share the truth about your flaws.
Some people can get extremely irritated when others try to act like they are perfect. Sharing your weaknesses and failures can make you appear genuine and allow the people around you to feel closer and more engaged with you. Though, make sure you don’t overdo it and talk about all your failures and bad moments, otherwise the effect will be just the opposite.
7. Be the first one who makes a joke.
Instead of waiting for someone to loosen up the tension in the room, be the one who takes action — make a funny, yet harmless, comment about the situation you are in, things you are working on, etc. If you’ve known the person long enough, you can sometimes tease them in a friendly way, but remember that you should never attack their identity or laugh at something that they can’t change about themselves. Whoever you are teasing needs to be laughing along with you. And don’t forget to laugh at yourself from time to time as well.
8. Laugh at someone else’s jokes too.
Support others’ attempts at making the atmosphere more friendly. By laughing along, you will support the other person and help them see that you are listening to them.
Even if someone makes a bad joke, you can turn it into a funny one by having a good laugh. This way, you will make other people go along with it and make everyone feel good. Always remember: laugh with them, not at them!
9. To be interesting, be interested.
Most of the time, people like to talk rather than listen, and they only appreciate those who pay attention to them. One of the ways to appear as a careful and attentive listener is by repeating the phrases that the person you’re talking to just said.
For example, use question tags like, “I know, right?!”. In addition, don’t forget to play with encouraging words like, “Exactly!” or “That’s right!” and so on. This technique is also called an “emotionally reflective response.”
10. Be a magnet for people around you and engage them.
Don’t blend in with the atmosphere and the people that are present in the room. Instead, try to be an enthusiastic person. Attract others into having short, but meaningful chats or even longer conversations.
Try to be one level higher and don’t be scared of appearing silly. Your positive energy won’t go unnoticed — people will eagerly join in and tag along.
11. Make friends with other people’s friends.
Having people in common, like mutual friends who have “similarities,” really matters for us. Establishing a friendship with the acquaintances of others can play a big role in building trust with all of them. Also, it makes people feel closer to each other when they have a couple of similar friends. And it’s a good way to expand the group of people you are in right now.
12. Surprise people when they don’t expect it.
When people receive something pleasant from others that they didn’t ask for, it gives them an extraordinarily good feeling. Don’t be afraid of surprising others with something they might like, without asking their permission to do so. For example, if you are at work and want to go grab yourself a sandwich, you could also grab one more for your colleague. This surprising action will stick in their mind for a long time, and you will be seen as a friendly and nice person.
Which tactics do you use to make people like you? Let’s share our secrets in the comment section!